A CHILD'S PRAYER

As my five-year-old-son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we 
passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like 
that, 
we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to 
my 
son, "We should pray." From the back seat I heard his earnest request: 
"Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."

HOT AIR

My pastor friend put sanitary hot air hand dryers in the restrooms at 
his church and after two weeks took them out. I asked him why, and he 
confessed that they worked fine, but when he went into the men's 
restroom, he saw a sign that read: "For a sample of this week's sermon, 
push the button."

WHAT ELSE?

After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would 
take 
care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility. One 
evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times do you think that 
hamster would have died if I hadn't looked after it?" After a moment, 
her youngest son replied quizzically, "Once?"

LIKE THE WAY SHE THINKS

A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy 2 servings 
per night, and a few more on weekends. I consume 3,500 calories of 
chocolate in a week, which equals one pound of weight per week. 
Therefore... In the last 3 1/2 years, I have had chocolate caloric 
intake of about 180 pounds, and I only weigh 165 pounds, so without 
chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing about 3 months ago! I 
owe 
my life to chocolate.

MEETING DAD

A good friend of mine warned me that, as my three daughters became old 
enough to date, I'd disapprove of every young man who took them out. 
But 
when the time came, I was pleased that my friend's prediction was 
wrong. 
Each boy was pleasant and well mannered. Talking to my daughter Joanna 
one day, I said that I liked all the young men she and her sisters 
brought home. "You know, Dad," she replied, "we don't show you 
everybody."